Improving Interpersonal Relations

Heyla, all,

I had recently been informed that, due to recent events, a member had left the group, citing that he wasn't very pleased with the ensuing "drama." This, in turn, concerns me, as such things reflect badly upon the group's reputation. As I had mentioned in my "Calming the Rough Waters" post, my dream for this group is to be a warm, close, and welcoming community, not a community known for passionate conflicts. As such, I have been doing some thinking, and I think, perhaps, there are measures we can take to prevent future conflict from occurring.

As we have recently learned, the situation with Davy was nothing more than a very big misunderstanding. Indeed, as things turn out, he had nothing but good intentions for us, as he had created the group in order to give us a place to host shop events, since we had mysteriously and suddenly lost hosting rights at the SkyView Mall. Therefore, I am thinking, if such future situations occur where someone makes a statement that others feel strongly about, I ask, before and during your replies, that you do the following:

1. Take a deep breath and relax. Adopt the hitchhiker's motto of "Don't Panic," and take a moment to clear your head before writing a passionate message fueled by confusion and hurt. As is often the case, things aren't always what they seem.

2. If you're still too emotional to calmly write a reply, just step away for a while. Watch a movie, take a walk in the park, play Runescape or some other video game, etc., just to cool down enough that, when you're finally ready to reply, you can do so without adding to or causing potential conflict.

3. When writing a reply, try writing the message in this form, "Okay, I read your message, and this is how I'm interpreting it. Please confirm my interpretation or clarify your statement so that I may better understand your message." And when writing your interpretation, please try to avoid using... aggressive language, leaving out insults and sarcasm. Really try to explain what you think the other person is saying in a non-confrontational manner so that real communication, and thus, understanding, can take place.

4. Remember that this is not an authoritarian group. I do not, repeat, do not require someone to take it upon themselves to "bust some heads," as that only promotes unwanted conflict. Indeed, such a thing is discouraged. Recall that in the group rules posted on this site, we are supposed to treat others with respect. Remember, the purpose of this group is for new, broke, or otherwise struggling developers to come together to pool our resources so that we may better promote our products, not to bicker amongst ourselves.

Hopefully, taking these actions and remembering these few things will do much to reduce future potential conflict. Again, I do not want the group's reputation to be tarnished by such events.

I want everyone to understand that I am not saying that you can not let your voice be heard. I am simply asking you to do so in a manner that is calm, rational, and non-confrontational. Remember, your actions reflect upon the group and influences its reputation. I do not want our good reputation to be tarnished by negative actions.

Wishing you all fair profits,
TheKeeper